Sunday, March 15, 2009

Poetry Train Monday - 92 - He Followed His Master




So far, I've introduced four characters from two of my works in progress by creating found poetry from reworked prose scenes. Continuing with this format, here is the main character from a fantasy story I started last summer at my writers' retreat.

You can read a prose excerpt about Scorpius HERE.



He Followed His Master



Fostering relatives' children was common practice among the nobility
The nurses treated Scorpius as they did the others
Some had beautiful mothers scooping up their darlings
Sometimes handsome fathers took their children out for the day


No one ever came for Scorpius

He never asked where his parents might be, didn't want to
Hear the words spoken, words to confirm the gut-gnawing truth
He learned to be a little lord - until the other boys
Transfered to their own Houses. Formal schooling began

No one sent for Scorpius

At last, as babies arrived, a whole new crop of children to the nursery
Scorpius watched a stately man, a man with a scar across one temple
Approach the head nurse. Scorpius saw him glance over. The man with
The scar strode slowly across the courtyard, his movements

Like a great predatory beast

Finally. It was happening. Someone really had come for him
Crouching down so his face was level with Scorpius'
The man looked deeply into his face. Scorpius stayed silent
Returned the gaze without flinching. Hard, piercing glance

Raked across Scorpius' soul

Bowing as he'd been taught. Returned his gaze as was proper
Between family members of the noble classes. The man's expression
Changed, darkened with disapproval. Scorpius dropped his gaze
Fear prickled his back. "I'm the falconer," the man said

"I have need of a boy."

"He's a very helpful young man," the head nurse said, proudly
"Very respectful." Scorpius noticed she stressed the qualities
Of a good servant. His heart seemed to weigh a hundred pounds
"I'll take him off your hands, then." The man rose to his feet

Turned expectantly toward Scorpius

"Come along," the man said, striding off the way he'd come
Scorpius looked up at the head nurse in a panic
Was she releasing him to serve that scarred man? One look
In her eyes and he saw that she was

A sob lodged itself in his throat

He would not give her the satisfaction. All his
Dreams of meeting his parents one day shattered in a
Blinding instant. Forcing his feet to move, Scorpius refused to
Let the nursemaids see how their silence at his fate

Pierced him to the quick

He followed the man who was to be his master
With a swirling mix of emotions. For the first time
In his young life, he would belong to someone
A part of him rejoiced. The other part


Remembered the scar
















- Julia Smith, 2009

Ride the Poetry Train!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great job with the found poem, Julia! It captures Scorpius and his inner conflicts beautifully. I like how you use poetry to delve into your characters. :)

gautami tripathy said...

Beautifully conveys the emotions.

lay in lace

Ire said...

Very beautifully written!

anthonynorth said...

Nicely done. Fantasy is one area of writing I've found difficult to crack.

Tumblewords: said...

Well done! Great capture and nice read...

Sherri B. said...

This was an awesome read...I was completely caught up in your story. I really want to know what happens next...

Jeeves said...

Wonderful. I was engrossed completely

M. said...

I'm intrigued by the phrase 'found poetry'. What does that mean, exactly? I imagine it's sort of like art made from 'found objects'?

Julia Phillips Smith said...

M - yes, found poetry is exactly that. You take words from another context and create a poem out of it. Like a grocery list, or a newspaper article.

When using another person's words as your found poem, however, the poem is actually attributed to the author of the original words.

For my own found poetry, I've been using old diary entries of mine, but mostly prose work which I've reshaped into poems. That means I have to use the words as I find them, so no rhyming. But I have repeated phrases to use in different poetic forms.