Friday, November 23, 2007

Coming At Us From All Sides

My mom is finding it hard tonight to accept the idea that it's no longer an option to care for Gram at home. Mom has been caring for Gram for fifteen years.

The past few months have been really hard on Mom, as Gram was declining and Mom had to perform real nursing care for her mother. Though you'd imagine it might seem like such a relief to know that she's no longer tied to the house, to have to keep her ear listening for Gram getting up and shuffling off to the washroom with her walker - it's actually very distressing for Mom.


Luckily her two brothers flew here for the past few days, plus her brother that lives here has been sharing the visits at the hospital so that Mom feels a great deal of support from her siblings. I know it's meant a lot to Mom to be surrounded by her family for this dreaded transition in her mother's life.

I'll be getting up at 4:00am tomorrow to drive my uncles to the airport. It's been a short, emotional visit and I've so enjoyed seeing them. I'll share their trip here in my next Thursday Thirteen.

Meanwhile, after enjoying a family dinner quickly put together by Mom so my uncles could see all of us, Brad and I returned to our apartment downstairs to find this note on our Facebook pages:

'Say A Prayer For My Dad'

This was posted by Brad's brother Jeff this evening.


"I'm calling on all of my spiritual friends to say a prayer for my Dad. David Smith is 70 years old and has cancer of the pancreas. He's been fighting it for 8 months and recently he has been having a real tough go of it. He's taking chemo-therapy once a week and he's on pain medication the rest of the time, it either makes him so dopey he's zombie like or it doesn't properly control his pain and he just can't get comfortable. I know from my birthday that people will chime in and send best wishes. I'm hoping to harness a little bit of that good will and send it to my dad. If you're a part of a prayer group and can pass this along or if you've got a good connection with your higher power, please send out a prayer for him. We're doing all that is earthly possible for him. I'm hoping for some kind of holy intervention. Thank You."

18 comments:

Akelamalu said...

I so know where your Mom is coming from. My Dad has been suffering terribly with an arthritic hip and my brothers and I have been looking after him. Thankfully he got his new hip this week and he's hoping to be independent again in a few weeks. x

Sending Reiki and good wishes to your Gram and David Smith.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Oh, Julia. This is so hard.

Big hugs from me (and the band) for your gram and your mom -- and for David. I lost a very good friend to pancreatic cancer not long ago. It's hard.

More hugs--

Sandee said...

Consider it done. Prayers in progress all the way around. :)

Julia Phillips Smith said...

Thank you, Akelamalu, Susan and Sandee (hugs)

My gram had a stroke this morning. She's doing alright - can still talk, can read and knows who we are but her left hand is a bit curled up.

Joyismygoal said...

That is a hard time of life I have seen it w/My MIL and her MIL and now w/ my mom it seems no decision is perfect but once one is made it getsa little easier and is just a mattter of adjusting our mind set.

Addicted to crafting said...

your family is in my prayers. :hug:

Akelamalu said...

Oh no, poor Grammy. Much love and oodles of Reiki winging its way to her as I type. xx

Amy Ruttan said...

Oh big hugs to you Julia. Big big hugs. Believe me I understand. My Nanny had cancer that spread into her pancreas when she was 63 and we nursed her for as long as we could. I also see what it was like for my mother-in-law to finally have to put her 87 year old mother in a home and her siblings living far away.

Big hugs to you again. :)

Julia Phillips Smith said...

Thanks again, Akelamalu, Joy Is My Goal, No Nonsense Girl and Amy. Hugs to all of you.

Kelly Boyce said...

You really are getting hit from all sides. I'll be thinking of you and sending out good thoughts.

Julia Phillips Smith said...

Thanks, Kelly - (big hug)

Karina said...

My prayers are with you and your family in these tough times Julia!

Karina said...

My prayers are with you and your family in these tough times Julia!

Julia Phillips Smith said...

Thank you, Karina.

Anonymous said...

Praying for everyone!

Julia Phillips Smith said...

Thank you, Isabella.

Miss Frou Frou said...

Big cyber hugs from me... sending positive vibes your way

Julia Phillips Smith said...

Thanks, Miss Frou! Glad you dropped by! Miss you.