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Monday, September 3, 2007
Poetry Train Monday - 17 - Citadel
Here's my very latest poem, finished today. It feels so nice to have a few in the works. I find poetry to be more like sculpting. It's a very different process for me than prose. I often write a stanza and then leave it for a bit, standing back to see how it wants to reveal itself to me.
Citadel
I've built my own keep
Brick by smiling brick
No room at the inn
How they suffer
Bottomless and vast
I kick fresh straw
Free another corner in the stable
I'm greedy with compassion
My outstretched hand
Beacon of sanctuary
They see a wave of cheer
Though it flails to break a fall
I limp and soldier on
Grimace or grin, hard to say
I'm pilloried by pride
So many heads
Invited to my shoulder
My neck stiff with them
Progress is glacial
Boulders uproot to be
Dragged, scouring the bedrock
I've built my own fortress
The bricks all made of smiles
The bedrock is compassion
The moat was dredged by pride
My arms stretch wide like ramparts
Chains release the drawbridge
I am their refuge. They are mine.
Copyright 2007 Julia Smith
Wow. Just wow. What a wonderful poem. In so many ways and on so many levels, it spoke to me.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing.
I love your site. Thanks for stopping by to meet me. Your poetry is superb.
ReplyDeleteDorothy
what a wonderful poem!! Very gifted and talented you are to write such beautiful words. WONDERFUL!
ReplyDeleteThat is amazing.
ReplyDeleteWonderful
ReplyDeleteYou have an award Julia, please call by to collect it. :)
THat kind of reaches out to me. Very metaphorical.
ReplyDeleteAmazing poem, Julia. And I love the pictures you put with it.
ReplyDeleteawesome poem, Julia.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it strange how we set out to offer support to friends and strangers only to find out that they've become our support as well?
powerful Julia! this stanza is not only beautifully uttered but deeply moving as well:
ReplyDelete"I'm greedy with compassion
My outstretched hand
Beacon of sanctuary
They see a wave of cheer
Though it flails to break a fall
I limp and soldier on
Grimace or grin, hard to say"
I really like this. So much going on. I love the visual impact I get.
ReplyDeleteGreat poem! I always wonder if the old warlords did feel that way.
ReplyDeleteGreat job.
this is really quite good. It speaks alot about you
ReplyDeleteYeah, I know how you feel in this one. And I love the way in which you've expressed it, Julia. Powerful. Beautiful. And with an image of a castle... we can all relate to it.
ReplyDeleteI wish all citedel were like that!!
ReplyDeleteI am their refuge. They are mine.
ReplyDeleteYes indeed. If only it were always so.
Your poetry is always so beautiful. :)
ReplyDeleteGreedy with compassion - love it!! Very nice!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful poem, and lovely pictures you've used as accompaniement.
ReplyDeleteThere were so many levels to this as I was reading it. I love how I could see the words building the images in my head as I was pulled in more and more. Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI can't write poetry the way you do, being able to step away from it and build it that way...mine either all pours out of me, or doesn't come at all.
I find poetry to be more like sculpting. It's a very different process for me than prose.
ReplyDeleteSo true! I love the sentiment.
Thank-you Julia. You've inspired this non-poet to venture into verse (please pardon me):
ReplyDeleteDunnottar still stands
peopled by pigeons
coolish and gray ever after
sanctimonious Cromwell attacked
and beat the doors in.
Slowly and steadily you've built your own
keep brick by smiling brick
cemented on that firm crux
stretched wide where there is always
room to be let in.