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Sunday, February 1, 2009

Poetry Train Monday - 86 - The Undiscovered Scream


This is another found poem, taken from one of my works in progress. It's a scene from my gardener story, which you can check out in my Fiction Excerpt Archives. You'll find it in the 2007 entries.

I tightened the language of the scene for the poem. Otherwise it reads as it does in the story.


The Undiscovered Scream


Helen stood before the gaol
Barred wagon trundled
Towards her

Three more prisoners
Waiting to
Board

How she had longed
To be taken
Last summer

The days since then had
Crawled on famished hands
Exhausted knees

Horses' hooves clapped
On cobblestones
It seemed she

Stepped outside herself
Watching as she moved
Through the hours

Fatigue helped
To blur the moments.
The women beside her

Held hands
The man jumped down
Opened the latch

Impossible
But Helen felt.
Tendril of fear creeping

How certain she'd been
No more feelings
Left at all

She looked down
Worn fabric
Draft curled around

Her ankles. One woman cried.
The other kept patting her.
Near the harbour

Sea birds cried
Reality entered the
Box like a fourth

Passenger.
Waterfront hurly burly
Men called orders

Cargo nets hoisted.
Jagged masts
Sky clutter

Draped with shrouds
Monstrous webs
Of rope

Helen shivered on the
Wharf, the rough men
On deck stared back

The numbness was gone.
An undiscovered scream
That no one seemed to hear

- Julia Smith, 2009

Don't forget to ride the Poetry Train!

My February Sidebar Art Gallery showcases the work of William-Adolphe Bouguereau, Alfred Eisenstaedt, Francesco Hayez, Indian batik art, Pablo Picasso, Ford Madox Brown, Sir Edward Burne-Jones, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec and Gustav Klimt.

22 comments:

  1. Hi, nicely done and a good way to promote your WIP too! It's nearly 2.30 am here so I'll have to come back later on for a better look at your amazing bloggage!

    I love your sidebar pics and the lovers/kiss theme. My local pub is called The Ford Maddox Browne!

    Andy

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  2. Very cool about your pub, Sweet Talking Guy!

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  3. Hey!

    Its a nice poem. Very vivid.

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  4. A poem that really told a story. Excellently done.

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  5. i like your found poem series a lot! i can really see the scene hear. good job panting the picture.

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  6. I'm stressing for her!
    I don't recall this story, is it before I found your blog?

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  7. I like how it builds the tension ...

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  8. Jill - she's from my gardener story. You can read the excerpts in my Fiction Excerpt Archives, which you'll find in my sidebar under my picture.

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  9. Yes, indeed, it rings with tension. Love it...

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  10. Nice, Julia!

    "Fatigue helped
    To blur the moments"

    This line really spoke to me!

    It's nice to be back in the land of bloggers. I was caught in the middle of the ice storm last week and went for 6 days without electric or Internet! I think I almost missed the Internet more than the heat!

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  11. Holy Calamity, Bobbi! Glad you survived!

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  12. I enjoy turning prose into poetry. You did a good job on this one.

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  13. Hi Julia,

    I guess you now know that your literature has a poetic rhythm.


    I particularly liked:

    The days since then had
    Crawled on famished hands...

    Fatigue helped
    To blur the moments.

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  14. This stirred lots of imagery for me, Julia. Very intense. Loved it.
    Blessings,
    ~Toni~

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  15. This narrative prose poem does seem like a snippet from a longer story. I'll need to return to read your other work.
    BTW, I like the variety of artists you feature in your sidebar.

    a non famous artist who write,
    gel

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  16. The tension most definitely builds...I loved the imagery in this poem. Thank you for sharing!

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  17. Beautiful narration. The terror,the sadness comes across strongly.

    dancing verses

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  18. A very tight story told in verse! Excellent!

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  19. I love reading your found poems...such a wonderful idea!

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  20. So she's one of the prisoners? Where are they headed? Will she survive?

    I have a lot of questions now...

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  21. Susan - she is one of the prisoners. Luckily I'm back to working on this story these days. It's dueling with my Scorpius story at the moment.

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