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Sunday, February 1, 2009
Poetry Train Monday - 86 - The Undiscovered Scream
This is another found poem, taken from one of my works in progress. It's a scene from my gardener story, which you can check out in my Fiction Excerpt Archives. You'll find it in the 2007 entries.
I tightened the language of the scene for the poem. Otherwise it reads as it does in the story.
The Undiscovered Scream
Helen stood before the gaol
Barred wagon trundled
Towards her
Three more prisoners
Waiting to
Board
How she had longed
To be taken
Last summer
The days since then had
Crawled on famished hands
Exhausted knees
Horses' hooves clapped
On cobblestones
It seemed she
Stepped outside herself
Watching as she moved
Through the hours
Fatigue helped
To blur the moments.
The women beside her
Held hands
The man jumped down
Opened the latch
Impossible
But Helen felt.
Tendril of fear creeping
How certain she'd been
No more feelings
Left at all
She looked down
Worn fabric
Draft curled around
Her ankles. One woman cried.
The other kept patting her.
Near the harbour
Sea birds cried
Reality entered the
Box like a fourth
Passenger.
Waterfront hurly burly
Men called orders
Cargo nets hoisted.
Jagged masts
Sky clutter
Draped with shrouds
Monstrous webs
Of rope
Helen shivered on the
Wharf, the rough men
On deck stared back
The numbness was gone.
An undiscovered scream
That no one seemed to hear
- Julia Smith, 2009
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My February Sidebar Art Gallery showcases the work of William-Adolphe Bouguereau, Alfred Eisenstaedt, Francesco Hayez, Indian batik art, Pablo Picasso, Ford Madox Brown, Sir Edward Burne-Jones, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec and Gustav Klimt.
Hi, nicely done and a good way to promote your WIP too! It's nearly 2.30 am here so I'll have to come back later on for a better look at your amazing bloggage!
ReplyDeleteI love your sidebar pics and the lovers/kiss theme. My local pub is called The Ford Maddox Browne!
Andy
Very cool about your pub, Sweet Talking Guy!
ReplyDeleteHey!
ReplyDeleteIts a nice poem. Very vivid.
A poem that really told a story. Excellently done.
ReplyDeletei like your found poem series a lot! i can really see the scene hear. good job panting the picture.
ReplyDeleteI'm stressing for her!
ReplyDeleteI don't recall this story, is it before I found your blog?
I like how it builds the tension ...
ReplyDeleteExcellent Julia! I love it. :)
ReplyDeleteJill - she's from my gardener story. You can read the excerpts in my Fiction Excerpt Archives, which you'll find in my sidebar under my picture.
ReplyDeleteYes, indeed, it rings with tension. Love it...
ReplyDeleteNice, Julia!
ReplyDelete"Fatigue helped
To blur the moments"
This line really spoke to me!
It's nice to be back in the land of bloggers. I was caught in the middle of the ice storm last week and went for 6 days without electric or Internet! I think I almost missed the Internet more than the heat!
Holy Calamity, Bobbi! Glad you survived!
ReplyDeleteI enjoy turning prose into poetry. You did a good job on this one.
ReplyDeleteHi Julia,
ReplyDeleteI guess you now know that your literature has a poetic rhythm.
I particularly liked:
The days since then had
Crawled on famished hands...
Fatigue helped
To blur the moments.
This stirred lots of imagery for me, Julia. Very intense. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
~Toni~
This narrative prose poem does seem like a snippet from a longer story. I'll need to return to read your other work.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I like the variety of artists you feature in your sidebar.
a non famous artist who write,
gel
The tension most definitely builds...I loved the imagery in this poem. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful narration. The terror,the sadness comes across strongly.
ReplyDeletedancing verses
A very tight story told in verse! Excellent!
ReplyDeleteI love reading your found poems...such a wonderful idea!
ReplyDeleteSo she's one of the prisoners? Where are they headed? Will she survive?
ReplyDeleteI have a lot of questions now...
Susan - she is one of the prisoners. Luckily I'm back to working on this story these days. It's dueling with my Scorpius story at the moment.
ReplyDelete