Life has been all over the place lately.
Before I went on my trip to Toronto in October, I interviewed for the scanning position I'd held for the past six months. It was a casual position, but my manager really liked my job performance and how well I fit in with everyone. So he opened the job up to a permanent position, which I then had to apply for, because with government jobs here in Nova Scotia he can't simply hire whomever he wants. Seventy-seven people applied for my job, and six people interviewed. A few days before my trip, I had my interview, which went well. But when Brad and I boarded the plane for Toronto, that was my last day at work.
So I had a wonderful trip to Toronto, saw a whole bunch of family and friends that I miss and spent precious time with his dad who is being treated for liver cancer. All the while not knowing if I had a job to come home to.
Got back, kept working on my novel and celebrated my gram's 93rd birthday. On Brad's birthday - the 7th - we went to a special mass for all those from the St. Agnes parish who'd had funerals there in the past year. My dad passed away this March, so Brad and I joined my step mom Doris, my sister Michelle, my step sister Rhonda, and Judy, close friend of my dad's & Doris in a very beautiful ceremony. Doris, Michelle and I went up together to light a candle for Dad when his name was called.
When Brad and I got back from the mass, Mom and I decided that Gram needed to see a doctor. She'd been losing power for that whole week, her legs just giving out so that whoever was shadowing her had to suddenly support Gram's whole weight. Earlier that day I'd had to call for Brad to help me, cause Gram just couldn't make it to her chair in the living room.
An ambulance came and Mom and I spent a late night in emergency until they had Gram all settled for the night. The next few days, Mom and I stayed with Gram in emergency until a bed opened up for her in the regular part of the hospital. At that point, we had to cut our visiting time down because the regular floors have set times for that. By my birthday on the 11th, we needed a break, so my aunt & uncle, and my sister and her boyfriend saw Gram that day. Brad, Mom and I went out for lunch and celebrated my day and then rested.
At that point I'd received the call from my manager about the job, but with very disappointing news. Human Resources gave him another person, even though he asked for me, especially since it was so close. This other person scored 2.5 points higher than me on the interview, so HR insisted she get it. He was so upset!
I was REALLY upset by that news. I've been working at non-benefits jobs for a very long time. With Brad only able to work part time due to his bipolar condition, my quest for a fulltime job with benefits had been so tantalizingly close. I was on pins and needles since that interview on Oct. 10th. The difference it would make for Brad and me is impossible to explain.
So when I heard that it was all back to the drawing board, I have to tell you I really felt low.
I'm waiting on my employment insurance, and Brad is still working, of course. But here I am with an opportunity to write fulltime for awhile, and I'm doing my best to look on the bright side of this whole situation.
For one thing, it's good timing that I'm available to help out with Gram right now. Mom and I spell each other off for visiting. Today is Mom's birthday so I'm taking both visiting shifts, afternoon and evening.
And because of my extreme allergies, I've always battled the effects that a fulltime job gives me due to long workhour exposures to the chemicals present in every office, especially toner, which just kills me. Both Mom and I have noticed how much better I am this past month that I haven't been working.
And Mom and I talked about this opportunity to write fulltime. I know for me the ability to be a fulltime writer has never existed because I need to be the main wage earner. But now it seems that I'm being given a gift, almost.
When one door closes, another one opens.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Life has been all over the place lately.