Friday, February 1, 2008

Waitin' For My Dearie

When Brad and I flew out to Toronto on Boxing Day, we didn't know we would be spending the next seven days at Toronto General Hospital holding a bedside vigil as his father passed away. We didn't know there would be a funeral. We didn't know how quickly the two of us would make the decision to have him stay on with his mom for awhile, available for emergency hugs.

We both switched our flights back to Nova Scotia. I delayed a few days, but Brad has stayed for a month. While we'd soldiered through our brand new ordeal, my mom hung out here with our dog, noticing just how empty our home is without our little 93-year-old roomie.

So now I've returned to a casual position at my old job, coming home every evening to have supper with my mom and do for her what Brad is doing for his mom. I used to come through the front door and immediately turn to my left to see Gram lift her head from her crossword puzzle or the new drawing she was working on. We'd smile at each other, I'd walk over to her rocking chair and she'd raise her cheek for my kiss. We'd chat for a little bit, then I'd join Mom in the kitchen as she finished getting Gram's supper ready. Once Gram was eating at her little table in the living room, Mom would join me at the kitchen table and we'd chat for almost an hour. It helped Mom decompress from a day caring for a tottery, very hard of hearing old woman to be able to tell me everything she was up to.

Afterwards, I'd go downstairs to Brad. My real time to myself would start then as we had supper, and Brad and I would catch up on the day's thoughts and events. With Brad in Toronto, and no Gram to cook for, Mom kept having supper waiting for me when I got home. We kept our routine of visiting after I got home from work, and she kept her routine of making supper, but we let the changes to our lives swirl in with what feels familiar.

It's been really nice, this time together. Sometimes we'd get teary as we shared little things that made us miss Gram, or when I'd fill her in on more details about Brad's dad. But this transition has been slow and easy, and it's been that way for Brad's mom, too. She could relax knowing she wasn't alone in the house. She could defrost something from the freezer and cook for Brad, like she cooked for David. She had someone to make jokes with as they watched TV together. She could really enjoy a nice long time together with her East Coast son.


But Monday's coming, and Monday I'm driving out to the airport to pick up my honey. And I can't wait to look into those blue eyes, to see him smile at me and feel his arms slide around me in a huge embrace.

12 comments:

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I'm so glad your honey is coming home. You certainly have had a long bout of one thing after another. I can tell the two of you are wonderful people that care a great deal about family. It's so important too. Have a great day. :)

Shelley Munro said...

I'm glad your husband is on his way home. I know how much I miss mine whenever we're apart. Meanwhile, here's a cyberhug. Have a lovely weekend, Julia.

Annie Mac said...

What a wonderful reunion you'll have. Hope the rest of this year is filled only with blessings.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

You guys rock, to have put your moms ahead of each other.

what a great marriage you have.

Camille Alexa said...

It makes such a difference in life to have a partner you can count on, and who can count on you.

M. said...

i'm so sorry for your loss. how special for your and your husband's loved ones that you are both so loving and conscientious towards them - it is not easy in the longterm dealing with people made cantankerous from pain and heavy memories

Annette said...

I'm glad your husband is coming home soon. I'd be feeling the same way. My hubby and I rack up huge phone bills when we're apart, so I know how hard it is to be separated from one another.

Jennifer McKenzie said...

Oh I'm so glad! What a time you've had!
I'm sending you good thoughts. A time like this is never easy. It sounds like you're doing it perfectly.

Robin said...

I'm sorry for your family's losses. What love and strength there must be in both of your families.

Akelamalu said...

Sometimes we have to do things which mean sacrificing our own needs for a while. It's never easy but it is so worth it. Roll on Monday eh? x

Isabella Snow said...

Wow, what a family.. ! Im glad he'll be home soon for you.

Karina said...

Julia, this was beautiful! I'm glad Brad's coming home soon, I'm sure you miss him a great deal, but I think it's wonderful you've both been able to be there for your mother's through this tough time for both of them.

HUGS