Sunday, March 13, 2011

Poetry Train Monday - 184 - How Can I Ache For What I Never Had

It took me literally all day to write the scene for my Weekend Writer's Retreat serialized fiction on Saturday.

There were a few reasons for that.

The main one was providing home care for my mom, who had knee surgery last Monday. She had the surgery and was released on the same day, so I took the week off of work to care for her. She's actually recovering at a phenomenal rate, but it's amazing how much energy - both physical and mental - has to focus on the home care when you're the care provider.

Subsequently, I found I couldn't put myself in the right head space to write the scene, which was an important one for the main character of a work in progress, and the featured character in the backstory serialized fiction which I post each Saturday.

But I persevered. And I'm happy with how it finally turned out.

So here is a backstory poem I wrote for this character when I first began working on his story, nearly three years ago, now.

Scorpius is Chamberlain of the Keep for Lady Elysande. This dark fantasy takes place in a medieval-flavored slave-owning society.

How Can I Ache For What I Never Had

My bed belongs to my mistress, blanket and all
My keys are to her Keep, safeguarded stone
My ankles drag with phantom shackles
I hear them still, each moment I’m alone

My lineage is suspect, thus my role
My father may have strode before me
As I bowed before my lady’s guests
Wondering every time, could this man be…

My mother may have cried and fought
She may have hoped and schemed
I’ll never know, and never cease from wondering
Am I the man that either of them dreamed?

My tunic is the finest she can buy
My face and form are pleasing, for she smiles
My lips have brushed my lady’s hand, and yet
I long to kiss her foot, to lay in homage on those polished tiles

© Julia Smith - July 27, 2008

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Akelamalu said...

Glad to hear your Mum's doing well. :)

Julia Smith said...

Thanks to your Reiki!

Michael Offutt said...

Yes, I too am glad to hear that your mom is doing a lot better. My sympathies go out to you for I know first-hand how hard and difficult it is to be a care-provider. It's a huge amount of work and can be very emotionally draining as well.

I loved your poem. I related to several parts of it and wanted to thank you for sharing it. :)

Anne MacFarlane said...

Loved the poem, Julia.

Happy to hear Mom is recovering well!

Anonymous said...

Julia, I found you at Monday Poetry Train, and glad I did. First, I'm so sorry to hear your mom is ill, and I, like Michael, was a caregiver for my mom. Glad she's on the upswing.

As to this poem,lovely role play. My daughter is more into history and the sort of dark feel of this type of lit, but I was captivated and now must reconsider my reading!!

See, you may have created a monster... but a benevolent one.

Here's mine:

Blessings to all, Amy Barlow Liberatore

Anonymous said...

So happy about your Mom...may she continue to improve. As a former caregiver I admire your desire to assist your Mom.

Enjoyed the poem!

Travis Cody said...

That's wonderful. It has a power even without the knowledge we have of Scorpius from the serial back story you share with us each week.

Good news about your mom's recovery. Best wishes that it continues!

Anonymous said...

i love this poem. i can see it clearly. i can even see myself in the living room of the "I".