Poetry Train Monday - 184 - How Can I Ache For What I Never Had

It took me literally all day to write the scene for my Weekend Writer's Retreat serialized fiction on Saturday.

There were a few reasons for that.

The main one was providing home care for my mom, who had knee surgery last Monday. She had the surgery and was released on the same day, so I took the week off of work to care for her. She's actually recovering at a phenomenal rate, but it's amazing how much energy - both physical and mental - has to focus on the home care when you're the care provider.

Subsequently, I found I couldn't put myself in the right head space to write the scene, which was an important one for the main character of a work in progress, and the featured character in the backstory serialized fiction which I post each Saturday.

But I persevered. And I'm happy with how it finally turned out.

So here is a backstory poem I wrote for this character when I first began working on his story, nearly three years ago, now.

Scorpius is Chamberlain of the Keep for Lady Elysande. This dark fantasy takes place in a medieval-flavored slave-owning society.
















How Can I Ache For What I Never Had


My bed belongs to my mistress, blanket and all
My keys are to her Keep, safeguarded stone
My ankles drag with phantom shackles
I hear them still, each moment I’m alone

My lineage is suspect, thus my role
My father may have strode before me
As I bowed before my lady’s guests
Wondering every time, could this man be…

My mother may have cried and fought
She may have hoped and schemed
I’ll never know, and never cease from wondering
Am I the man that either of them dreamed?

My tunic is the finest she can buy
My face and form are pleasing, for she smiles
My lips have brushed my lady’s hand, and yet
I long to kiss her foot, to lay in homage on those polished tiles

© Julia Smith - July 27, 2008

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