Poetry Train Monday - 110 - Forest Bed

Saturday would have been my friend Pam's birthday, so I was thinking about her all day. She passed away a year ago last week.

Today's found poem is taken from a prose writing exercise from March of this year at my writers' group. We were doing a workshop on color, and I had to write something focusing on the color green.

Who else could I think of for green but my Eco Hero friend, Pam Langille?
















Forest Bed


Deep
In the Acadian forest
I sit

Under the canopy
of fir trees
Deep

Green needles sway
In the breeze
Filtering the light

Through greyed
Brown branches
Emerald green leaves

Poke through the firs
Beech and birch
Bright moist green moss

Coating fallen trunks
Gathered back
Into the soil

Soft feathery green
Lichen clings
To rock

The rock that marks your place
Your place is among the roots
Of the shining ancient hemlock

Soft
Little
Green

Needles draped
Over
Your forest bed

- Julia Smith, July 19, 2009 / original text March 2009













Ride the Poetry Train!


Ms Snarky Pants says Oh that's beautiful!

Michelle Johnson says Pam's smile is exuberant in your photo.

Nikki says Why do friends have to die?

Celebrating My Friend Pam Today - Nova Scotia's Newest Eco-Hero

This afternoon I left work early, hopped on the bus and headed over to the Public Archives with my friend Patti. We used to work together at Land Registration with Pam Langille, my very dear friend who passed away last July. An email from Pam's sister Barb let me know about an award ceremony she knew I wouldn't want to miss.


















Today Pam was posthumously awarded the first ever Langille Honour in the Woods Award. This brand new award was given by the Nova Scotia Environmental Network for her tireless efforts on behalf of the Acadian forest and sustainable logging.


There to watch her daughter Katharine accept the award were about a dozen of Pam's friends, her mother Norma, her sister Barb, her husband Rick, her son Chris and her niece Mary. Pam felt so present to me when her family and other friends walked into the room. Barb brought Pam's picture along for the ceremony, and Pam's beaming smile gazed across the room at all of us, as it would have done if she'd been there herself.

These Eco-Heroes were truly Pam's soul sisters and brothers. The first award was a Lifetime Achievement Award, given to an older man, while the Youth Environmental Leadership Award was given to an energetic and passionate group of high school students who had formed an association called Mind Shift.

The Cole Award for Excellence in Environment and Health was given to a man who has spearheaded a stop-idling-your-car initiative, while the Eco-Hero Environmentalist of the Year was given to another passionate and very humorous woman who works on behalf of renewable energy. The Award for Environmental Political Will was given to the provincial opposition environmental critic, who gave a wonderful speech about how scary his role can be, when he sees what goes on.














And then came Pam's award. Katharine spoke of her mother's Snowflake Theory, where every person's personal snowflake will break a branch if they all collect together. I thought about all the recipients in the room, about how each one had taken what resources they had, focused their passions and took action. And their actions have all made real, lasting changes in our province.













Four years ago, when I made it through the interview that started my employment with the province of Nova Scotia, I was so relieved on a personal level to get a contracted position with a possibility of full-time hire in the future. I went to work at Land Registration, giddy with joy just to be there. It wasn't long before I realized I'd been blessed with a new friend with whom I bonded deeply and immediately.

Every day I arrived at work, Pam greeted me with her mega-watt smile and a delighted "Hi, Julia!" And I had the same smile for her. We laughed our way through the work days, talked passionately during breaks about all sorts of things, sparred sometimes yet always with respect for the others' viewpoint. She was in my corner, and I was in hers.

As I listened to each person's speech today, I saw and heard Pam in the way they moved, in the way they connected to others in the room, the way they burned inside with the desire to stop the damage inflicted upon the air we breathe, the sea that sustains us and the woods that shelter us. Each Eco-Hero that came to the podium shared the same qualities of shining intention, ferocious spirit and single-minded focus that Pam showed me every day.

I'm lucky, very lucky in this life to know many courageous people. Some are artists shedding their blood, sweat and tears. Some celebrate quiet victories every time they make it through the day.

Pam was a dynamo. She spoke passionately and intelligently. She gathered facts. She showed up to question things and demand answers. She sought out alternatives and provided ways to implement them. Pam was an Eco-Hero, and I'm so happy to see the Langille Honour in the Woods Award launched into the world today in her memory.

Thursday Thoughts - 3 - Life as I Love to Live It

1 - The writers' retreat organized by my local chapter of Romance Writers of America is a huge highlight of my year.















2 - A visit to my friend Donna's in Toronto. What could be more lovely? I used to be her daughter's live-in nanny, and now her daughter is 23. Time flies, doesn't it? But it always feels good to sit and catch up, enjoy coffee together and eat her homemade cookies with edible gold.












3 - One of best things when we lived in Toronto was the availabilty of cult movies. On a recent trip to The Big City my husband made sure he stocked up on the essentials.


















4 - Hanging out on Queen Street West is also a must when we're in Toronto. Especially because my good friend Chris manages Bakka-Phoenix Books at Queen and Spadina. The city was tearing up the intersection during that visit.














5 - Is there any place I'd rather be than in the lobby of the Four Seasons Centre for the Performing Arts, a glass of champagne in my hand, my dear friend Jacquie by my side and a performance of the Sleeping Beauty ballet just moments away...?

Not really, no.














6 - Well...there's always meeting friends at a funky coffee shop and whiling away an hour or two over cafe au laits and delectable yummies. That's good, too.













7 - It's always exciting to discover the creative things my friends get up to. Like these fun tea cozies my friend Pam knitted, as well as little hats that looked like pumpkins and strawberries.














8 - Since I haven't been invited to the Oscars yet, last year's evening on the town at Haliwood - a Halifax Oscar-themed fundraiser - felt like the next best thing.


















9 - My gram's funeral was held this summer in Yarmouth, Nova Scotia. This was a beautiful angel candelabra behind the altar. It was a perfect service officiated by a handsome young priest of whom my gram would have heartily approved. A clear, blue-sky day, surrounded by family and uplifted by love - no one could ask for a better farewell.














10 - My dog Xena is a light in my life that can't really be explained. I just love her.















11 - Last year was a particularly sad year for saying final goodbyes - but it was also an odd dream-come-true year where so many things on my wish list came to me. I'm a life-long horse lover without a horse. But I had a serious Barbie horse with a horse trailer and realistic tack, and I had pretend horses I rode whenever we went for a family walk in a park or in the woods. I even groomed these pretend horses in their pretend stable in the backyard.

I've always wanted to go to Vienna to see the Lippizan stallions at the Spanish Riding School. And what do you know - the Lippizans came to me, here in Halifax!
















12 - Another thing I've always longed to do was see the Royal Canadian Mounted Police Musical Ride. Once again, who showed up right here in my fair city? You guessed it!

I've always had a thing for war horses and cavalry, and both the Lippizans and the RCMP Musical Ride are basically cavalry maneuvers.



The RCMP unit even did a charge at the end. A total thrill! In this next clip (which has no audio) the Charge comes at the 1:15 mark.
















13 - I took this shot of a sunset at Lawrencetown Beach in very chilly November, a year ago. This is a beach on the Atlantic Ocean, 20 minutes' drive from my house. I played here as a child, and I head out there as an adult because it's one of my favorite places on earth. Ten minutes of walking this beach, and I promise you - all is right with the world.

Poetry Monday - 68 - Barb's Au Revoir to Her Sister, Katharine's Au Revoir to Her Mother

On Friday I had the joyous privilege of attending two memorial services for my friend and former co-worker Pam Langille. My husband and I arrived at St. Andrew's United Church at 4:00 for an absolutely beautiful ceremony arranged by Pam's sister Barb. Then we hopped on a bus with another friend and made it to the North Street Church for the 6:00 ceremony arranged by Pam's daughter Katharine. There were large gatherings at both memorials, and most of us attended both.


Pam was a passionate advocate for several issues, including:
- people living with physical or mental challenges and their inclusion in society
- availability of alternative health care
- the buy-locally movement
- the health of the oceans
- the preservation of the Acadian forest, which means the original species trees native to eastern Canada

Even before she developed cancer, Pam had already done research into green burials. When my dad was in his last months of life, Pam did research about private citizens' abilities to have a cremation take place minus the embalming chemicals being released into the atmosphere. As it turned out, for my father-in-law we had a non-formaldehyde cremation (or any other chemical,) as my brother-in-law works for the federal Ministry of the Environment and knew how to insist upon that.

I was very honored to be asked to attend Pam's burial on her friends' land in Jeddore. Unfortunately, I could not attend as my grandmother's funeral was the very same weekend in Yarmouth, four hours' drive to the western end of the province. I was so glad that photos of this event were brought to the first memorial.


For my Poetry Monday offering, I'm sharing with you the prayer which Pam's sister Barb wrote for the first memorial. Barb spoke at the service and read Pam's final speech (which they worked on together due to Pam's increased fatigue) where Pam advocated once more on behalf of the forest she loved so very, very dearly.

This photo was taken at Pam's grave site on Kate's land. L to R: Kate, Pam's mom Norma and Pam's sister Barb.


Prayer of Thanksgiving and Concern

We give thanks for the splendour of the whole creation,
For the beauty of this world, for the wonder of life,
And for the mystery of love.
We give thanks for the blessing of family and friends,
And for loving care given to Pam in her final days
by family, friends and caregivers,
And for caring concern that surrounds us on every side in our time of grief.
We give thanks for Pam, her work, her advocacy, and her love and compassion.
May we forgive and love, as Pam did.
May we carry on and continue the work yet to be done,
And may we leave a positive footprint on the earth
and in the hearts of those we know and love.
Amen.

- Barbara Langille, 2008


The second ceremony was filled with heartfelt remembrances by those whom Pam fought alongside, on behalf of the forests of Nova Scotia. One man who spoke, Kermit deGooyer, wondered if he should mix advocacy with a memorial, which brought knowing laughter from everyone in attendance.

This next piece was printed in the program for the order of service for the 6:00 memorial, and was written by Pam's daughter Katharine.


(forest angel, eternal optimist and lover of all)

Mom,

What a beautiful life you gave. When they said two months you said "daiquiris?" When they said "take it easy" you said "Ecuador?" We rode you down the Amazon in a river boat in your palliative wheelchair. 14 days pass. Then you call me and say that you're ready for your next adventure. The angels guide you out, with song and popsicles. Way to go out with a bang, mom. The fire works escorted you through the veil. The truck was shined and the precession began. Back to the forest. Your human form wrapped in organic cotton, we laid you in the breast of the great mother and gave you back to the Earth, to the woods of which you loved so much. They welcomed you home.

Hoorah mama hot damn!

- Katharine Langille, 2008

Katharine sang at both ceremonies - here's a song from YouTube featuring Katharine and two friends performing at The Wired Monk in Halifax. Pam's daughter is in the center in the purple top.

Poetry Train Monday - 67 - Mission

Today's poem is dedicated to my friend Pam Langille, who passed away last July and whose memorial service is coming up this Friday. There are two services, actually, one at 4:00 pm at St. Andrew's United Church in Halifax and one at 6:00 pm at the North Street Church, also in Halifax.

I'm posting a poem by one of Canada's brilliant voices - Leonard Cohen.

The first picture shows the Hemlock Ravine in Halifax/Bedford, because Pam was a passionate advocate of the Acadian forest and spoke very lovingly of hemlocks. The second photo was taken of Pam's resting place at the foot of an old hemlock in the woodland of a great friend of hers.















Mission


I've worked at my work
I've slept at my sleep
I've died at my death
And now I can leave
Leave what is needed
And leave what is full
Need in the Spirit
And need in the Hole
Beloved, I'm yours
As I've always been
From marrow to pore
From longing to skin
Now that my mission
Has come to its end:
Pray I'm forgiven
The life that I've led
The Body I chased
It chased me as well
My longing's a place
My dying a sail

- Leonard Cohen

Thursday Thirteen - 64 - 13 Ways to Remember My Dear, Dear Friend - Pam Langille

On Saturday night, July 12th, while I was in Yarmouth for my grandmother's funeral, my friend Pam passed away.

I knew she was near the end. She'd emailed me the previous weekend:

hi ju
I'm on oxygen as of 2 days and catheter fo 3... have 14 hours of car duryng the day ad overnight...love to have a visit!!!! if you can manage it.
all my love, pam

She'd been living with cancer for the past year, but her recent decline was quite rapid. Blessedly so. I had a beautiful visit with her on Wednesday before I headed to Yarmouth with my family. There was a line of cars up and down her street, just like there was a house party - and there was. A Pam party, her home filled with all her loved ones. Her friend made room for me to sit on the bed with Pam, and we embraced, kissed, held each other, talked, smiled, laughed - and said goodbye.


1 - I met Pam when we were both hired by Land Registration for the scan project to upload all the property deeds for Halifax County onto the Property Online database.

L to R, back row: Chris, Bernie, Pam and Mike H.

Front row: Myself and Robert





2 - Pam and I clicked within seconds of meeting each other. She was 56 and I was 40. I was actually the second youngest member of the team. Far more than simply being the two non-males of the group, we got one another immediately and deeply.

This is the two of us one Halloween when the office went absolutely Halloween crazy. I arrived dressed as a Dark Age warrior, and Pam complemented me perfectly as a witch.




3 - This is a picture Pam took of me when we spent a magical day together in the Annapolis Valley for a horse logging demonstration.




4 - This was the team hauling logs out of a woodlot owned by a friend of Pam's. She was a passionate promoter of sustainable forestry. Selective logging preserves the old growth and manages the health of the woodlots.

Pam asked that donations made in her memory go to "the Eastern Shore Forest Watch Association, a nonprofit group dedicated to the long term care of our forests. The group was established in May 1998 by a group of citizens who were concerned about current tree harvesting practices. Members include woodlot owners, residents, foresters, tourism/business operators - people who are genuinely concerned about the health and future of our forests."

The address for donations: Comp 10, Site 2 R.R.1, Head Jeddore, NS B0J 1P0



5 - Pam knew she'd found a kindred spirit in me in many ways. When she asked me if I wanted to spend the day hiking through old growth forest to see horses hauling logs, she knew I'd say, "For real?"









She was a passionate advocate for the Acadian forests of Nova Scotia. "The Acadian forest region encompasses all three Maritime Provinces, northern New England and some southern parts of Quebec. A unique, diverse ecosystem found only in eastern North America, it's a meeting place where the northern boreal forest blends with southern hardwood forests creating a remarkable variety of forest ecosystems and opportunity." - www.acadianforest.ca





6 - Pam worked alongside the Ecology Action Centre on many projects. I met a few of her friends from the Action Centre during our day in the woods. We all got invited to a nearby farm run collectively by more of her friends to warm up and have lunch. An absolutely wonderful day I will cherish forever.



7 - Pam encouraged buying local produce and often shopped at the farmers' market on the weekend. She was friends with many local food producers, especially organic farmers.













8 - A talented computer graphics technician, she worked on many projects for the Bedford Institute of Oceanography here in Halifax. Even while working her 9-to-5 job with me at Land Registration, she worked at home in the evenings on mapping projects of the sea floor. In fact, if Pam did one thing, she did three things. She was a whirling dynamo.




9 - This is Pam with Holly, who also worked with us at the Registry mapping streets with GPS technology. It was Holly's bridal shower.

Before we met, Pam worked for 10 years as the Director of Volunteer Services for the Nova Scotia Hospital, a psychiatric facility.

She was also a regular contributer to the Ability Network Magazine and acted as an advocate for people living with physical or mental challenges. In fact one of her closest friends has Multiple Sclerosis, and Pam sometimes left work to fill in when his home care worker hadn't shown up.


10 - Here we are at Holly's wedding. The photo at the very beginning is from the wedding, as Pam blew bubbles for the bride and groom.

She was a true supporter of the New Democratic Party, and took her role as a citizen of a democracy very seriously. She sat on many committees over the years. Here's a quote from Pam when she took part in the Standing Committee On Resources, Sept. 25, 2001:

"To come back to the issue of our public lands and so on. Where we have so little public land and no control over the development on private land that it seems it is crucial now to be protecting as much of what remains wild land as possible." - Pam Langille


11 - This is a photo taken by Pam's daughter Katharine on another dreamy day we spent together. Pam and I drove to the Land Registration office in the Valley to train the staff there, and Katharine came with us.


Her daughter joined us for our lunch break, which we spent on a bridge over rushing water as Katharine played her mandolin and sang. That's Mike J. looking over at the water.









After work, the three of us gals stopped for ice cream, sat on Queensland Beach and had supper at a gorgeous restaurant in Hubbards. Katharine took the shot above of my glass of wine.


Katharine and Pam, taken by me







Pam is also survived by Katharine's older brother, Christopher.




12 - We could never be serious for long. Our team laughed, joked and sparred with each other mercilessly. This is a tender moment at a Christmas dinner for the scan team between Pam and Mike H.









It's rare to luck into a group of people that makes each day at work a total thigh-slapper. But we hit the jackpot on that one.

L to R: Mike H., Chris, Pam, myself, Patti, the King of Supervisors Mike J. who put our team together, and Bernie





We enjoy socializing together, long after our team has disbanded and the scan project completed. Here Pam nurses a beer with Ning, our other supervisor, as we play pool.





Here we gathered at Ning's new house this spring for a delicious dinner whipped up by his wife Yao, the most incredible cook you can imagine.

L to R: Mike J., Ning, Patti's boyfriend Tom and Pam





Life is real! life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

- Henry W. Longfellow


13 - Pam, I already miss you more than I could ever express. Thanks for taking this picture of me. This is the smile that was always for you.