Sunday, August 29, 2010

Poetry Train Monday - 167 - Defining Moment #3


Danika Dinsmore inspired this poem when I read her post about creating defining moments to develop your characters.



This 3:15 poem takes a look at Richolf, the falconer from my serialized fiction which appears on Saturdays.













Defining Moment #3

the sound of the slap
the wildness unleashed behind her mask
the lips he wouldn't kiss for some time yet

Like every man
He'd heard the tales
Of beholding a maid
And feeling thunderstruck

When he heard the crack
Of her hand upon the boy's face
His head snapped to follow the sound

He crept through the trees
Silent hunter's feet
Keeping his secret

There she was
Tall and broad as a dragon
In her fury

The youth curled low
Hands protecting his head
As her blows pelted like coals

He waited
Till her hand ceased the striking
And latched onto the boy's collar instead

He waited
Till the blade-edge bite of her voice
Finally reduced the boy to tears

He watched
As the fire never dimmed from her eyes
Merely spread from her gaze, from her hand

Till she wrapped the crying youth
In her arms
Till his sweat and tears stained her breast

He never stirred
From that tangle of branches
Which shielded and held him

She never knew
Till much later
So many days and nights it took

But he'd fallen for her
The moment he'd heard that slap
In the echoing wood

She never knew that he would gladly
Have taken the blows
Just to feel her hand upon him

That the sight of her parted lips
As she spoke the words
That drew the tears

Had robbed his legs of strength
He could have fallen to his knees
Before her wrath

He was glad he waited
A hunter has patience, after all
Her lips were so much sweeter

When they finally parted
For his sighs
And all her heat was for him

The boy had not known
What to do with such a storm
So why provoke it?

But he could ride this hurricane
He loved how it felt
To have limbs snap off, rooftops torn off

© Julia Smith, Aug. 26, 2010

How to participate in the 3:15 Experiment

Starting on the night of July 31/Aug. 1, set your alarm for 3:15 am, wake up, write a poem in the midst of your sleepiness and go back to sleep. Repeat each night for the month of August.

Visit the originators of the project for more information:

Danika Dinsmore

Gwendolyn Alley


For more poetry, Ride the Poetry Train!

Detail from Circe Offering the Cup to Ulysses by John William Waterhouse

Art Predator says Cool 3:15 poem Julia!

Naquillity says Would this woman you speak of be Ingerith?

Gautami Tripathy says Beautiful poetry!

7 comments:

artpredator said...

cool 3:15 poem Julia!

Naquillity said...

this is incredible writing for a 3:15 poem. would this woman you speak of be Ingerith? or is it another woman who Richolf loved once before? hope all is well.

Julia Smith said...

Naquillity - Yes, the woman in this poem is Ingerith, who just made her debut in Saturday's Weekend Writer's Retreat installment.

Mama Zen said...

This is gorgeous!

Travis Cody said...

I don't know that I could compose this completely after just waking up.

Julia Smith said...

Travis - I don't know why, but I think that the sleepiness factor quieted my inner editor and stuff just came pouring out of me. I'm really, really happy with the poems I did during this 3:15 Experiment.

gautami tripathy said...

Beautiful poetry!

curling and uncurling