A to Z Blog Challenge -- N is for my dad, Norman

Welcome to Day 14 of this year's A to Z Blog Challenge.
   
When I was a kid in the 60s, it was still common for fathers to be remote figures to their children. They worked long hours, were still expected to be somewhat scary authority figures and good for providing financial stability to the family.

Yet, were dads thought of as friends back when I was growing up?

For Day 14 --
  
  

N is for my dad, Norman

In the 60s, my dad was already settling into the role that modern dads wear easily.

He shared housework with my mom, our family made democratic decisions, and he forged a true friendship with both of his daughters as well as being a father we could count upon.

He was not a dad who missed our school concerts and plays, even though he had his own scuba diving shop and later sold cars. I always remember him prowling quietly along the edges of auditoriums with his camera, taking lots of pictures -- rather like I do, now.

He stood in the damp cold during my final year film shoot for Ryerson, pitching in as both a boom operator and an extra.

But the thing that stays with me as a part of me, deep and solid, is the way he held my hand as he walked me down the aisle.

Here's a poem I wrote for my dad which he kept with him since he first read it. He passed away the same year I started this blog -- in fact his passing was the launch pad for both my blog and my eventual publication.

When I Remember My Dad 

Even as a girl I knew my friendship with my dad wasn't that common. Not when I heard my childhood friends describing their home life, and later when I encountered examples of typical father-daughter relationships in books, TV shows and films.

It makes me happy that societal shifts have moved more father-daughter relationships into the kind of friendship my dad and I treasured. For those who insist that parents shouldn't be friends to their children, as a former day care worker and nanny, I too understand the need for clear boundaries for kids, for parents to provide authority along with basic safety, shelter and security.

However, my dad was my first male friend, which led to a lifetime of having many male friendships that had nothing to do with romance -- only enjoying the commaraderie of men.

He could not have given me a more important gift.

Thursday Thirteen - 239 - 13 of My Dad's Favorite Things

In memory of my dad, who passed away almost five years ago, this week's Thursday Thirteen is a special present for him, as today marks his birthday.

A Piece of My Mind owes its existence to my dad, as I launched it the month before he died. I was struck by the urgency of 'it's now or never', and in a very real way this blog is my dad's legacy.

1 - Laughter

Dad laughed - a lot. These are some of the things that could really get him going:

13 Things That Made My Dad Laugh

2 - Music

He was a lifelong music enthusiast, with a special love for the blues, rhythm & blues, classic rock and cool jazz. Here's a set I posted for him awhile back:

5 on Friday

3 - Photography

At school concerts, my dad always roamed the sides of the auditorium taking pictures with his Nikon camera.

4 - Movies

He started life as a big fan of John Ford westerns and the stunts of Yakima Canutt. When I later became someone who would pay multiple times to see a movie at the theatre, he thought that was a little strange - until VCRs came out, and I caught him watching Road Warrior over again. A-ha!

5 - Dancing

Dad not only liked to dance at clubs and house parties, but he ended up teaching jive dancing lessons in his late 50's.
















6 - Christmas

When my sister and I woke up bouncing with excitement in the dark of early Christmas morning, Dad always hopped out of bed ready for Christmas, even if he'd only gotten 2 hours of sleep getting the Santa toys ready the night before.














7 - Military History

He was a Canadian who lived a good part of his life in the States, and served in the US Army, 2nd and 3rd Armored Division. He had an insatiable thirst for all things military history.

He wore his army uniform on his wedding day in 1961, as he was posted to Europe the following week.

8 - Titanic History

He was always interested in the sinking of the Titanic, owning several books about it and visiting the graveyard here in Halifax where the victims are buried. In one of the odd ways life works out, my dad is now buried in that same resting place - Fairview Cemetery in Halifax, Nova Scotia, in my step-mom's family plot.

















9 - Scuba Diving

My dad owned a scuba gear shop and was a certified instructor in the 1970's.















10 - Hockey

He played hockey from boyhood, and was a lifelong Montreal Canadiens fan. This shot was taken at the Hockey Hall of Fame, during a Toronto visit with my sister and me, when we both lived there.

11 - Cars

He started his working life as a mechanic, and ended it as a car salesman. He had a special fondness for classic cars, but he pretty much loved everything to do with any kind - he loved watching car races, collecting reproduction cars, operating remote-controlled cars, and when he was in the army he taught fellow soldiers to drive the big 'deuce and a half' and five ton trucks.

12 - Beer

Beer was the go-to beverage for Norm. He also had a collection of beer steins, including the one I remember most - an engraved silver stein with a glass bottom that he brought home from Germany.












13 - Being a Dad

He loved this role in his life. And I love being his daughter.