A to Z Blog Challenge -- N is for my dad, Norman

Welcome to Day 14 of this year's A to Z Blog Challenge.
   
When I was a kid in the 60s, it was still common for fathers to be remote figures to their children. They worked long hours, were still expected to be somewhat scary authority figures and good for providing financial stability to the family.

Yet, were dads thought of as friends back when I was growing up?

For Day 14 --
  
  

N is for my dad, Norman

In the 60s, my dad was already settling into the role that modern dads wear easily.

He shared housework with my mom, our family made democratic decisions, and he forged a true friendship with both of his daughters as well as being a father we could count upon.

He was not a dad who missed our school concerts and plays, even though he had his own scuba diving shop and later sold cars. I always remember him prowling quietly along the edges of auditoriums with his camera, taking lots of pictures -- rather like I do, now.

He stood in the damp cold during my final year film shoot for Ryerson, pitching in as both a boom operator and an extra.

But the thing that stays with me as a part of me, deep and solid, is the way he held my hand as he walked me down the aisle.

Here's a poem I wrote for my dad which he kept with him since he first read it. He passed away the same year I started this blog -- in fact his passing was the launch pad for both my blog and my eventual publication.

When I Remember My Dad 

Even as a girl I knew my friendship with my dad wasn't that common. Not when I heard my childhood friends describing their home life, and later when I encountered examples of typical father-daughter relationships in books, TV shows and films.

It makes me happy that societal shifts have moved more father-daughter relationships into the kind of friendship my dad and I treasured. For those who insist that parents shouldn't be friends to their children, as a former day care worker and nanny, I too understand the need for clear boundaries for kids, for parents to provide authority along with basic safety, shelter and security.

However, my dad was my first male friend, which led to a lifetime of having many male friendships that had nothing to do with romance -- only enjoying the commaraderie of men.

He could not have given me a more important gift.

Thursday Thirteen - 239 - 13 of My Dad's Favorite Things

In memory of my dad, who passed away almost five years ago, this week's Thursday Thirteen is a special present for him, as today marks his birthday.

A Piece of My Mind owes its existence to my dad, as I launched it the month before he died. I was struck by the urgency of 'it's now or never', and in a very real way this blog is my dad's legacy.

1 - Laughter

Dad laughed - a lot. These are some of the things that could really get him going:

13 Things That Made My Dad Laugh

2 - Music

He was a lifelong music enthusiast, with a special love for the blues, rhythm & blues, classic rock and cool jazz. Here's a set I posted for him awhile back:

5 on Friday

3 - Photography

At school concerts, my dad always roamed the sides of the auditorium taking pictures with his Nikon camera.

4 - Movies

He started life as a big fan of John Ford westerns and the stunts of Yakima Canutt. When I later became someone who would pay multiple times to see a movie at the theatre, he thought that was a little strange - until VCRs came out, and I caught him watching Road Warrior over again. A-ha!

5 - Dancing

Dad not only liked to dance at clubs and house parties, but he ended up teaching jive dancing lessons in his late 50's.
















6 - Christmas

When my sister and I woke up bouncing with excitement in the dark of early Christmas morning, Dad always hopped out of bed ready for Christmas, even if he'd only gotten 2 hours of sleep getting the Santa toys ready the night before.














7 - Military History

He was a Canadian who lived a good part of his life in the States, and served in the US Army, 2nd and 3rd Armored Division. He had an insatiable thirst for all things military history.

He wore his army uniform on his wedding day in 1961, as he was posted to Europe the following week.

8 - Titanic History

He was always interested in the sinking of the Titanic, owning several books about it and visiting the graveyard here in Halifax where the victims are buried. In one of the odd ways life works out, my dad is now buried in that same resting place - Fairview Cemetery in Halifax, Nova Scotia, in my step-mom's family plot.

















9 - Scuba Diving

My dad owned a scuba gear shop and was a certified instructor in the 1970's.















10 - Hockey

He played hockey from boyhood, and was a lifelong Montreal Canadiens fan. This shot was taken at the Hockey Hall of Fame, during a Toronto visit with my sister and me, when we both lived there.

11 - Cars

He started his working life as a mechanic, and ended it as a car salesman. He had a special fondness for classic cars, but he pretty much loved everything to do with any kind - he loved watching car races, collecting reproduction cars, operating remote-controlled cars, and when he was in the army he taught fellow soldiers to drive the big 'deuce and a half' and five ton trucks.

12 - Beer

Beer was the go-to beverage for Norm. He also had a collection of beer steins, including the one I remember most - an engraved silver stein with a glass bottom that he brought home from Germany.












13 - Being a Dad

He loved this role in his life. And I love being his daughter.

Summer Stock Sunday - 41

Robin's Summer Stock Sunday meme invites all to post summery photos, and to visit other bloggers who share their feelings and memories about this magical season.
















This is one of the most iconic photos from my childhood.

My sister and I grew up alongside my two cousins as a group of four, with our two families spending both quantity and quality time together.

Because our two dads were scuba divers, we spent many magical days at Polly Cove, near Peggy's Cove. The men dived, the women set up the day's base camp and enjoyed one another's company - while we kids ran over the rocks, climbed, ran, explored, watched the waves, made return visits to the moms for snacks and juice, and generally made the kinds of memories that loom the largest when I think of the happiest times of my life.

Clockwise from left, back row: my sister Michelle, my cousin Charlie, me, and my cousin Julianne











This is my dad with Polly Cove in the background.













This photo was taken by my uncle, Charles E. Doucet - it's one of my favorites of his art photography pieces.

Taken out where we had so many great times together.

Summer Stock Sunday - 38

Robin's Summer Stock Sunday meme invites all to post summery photos, and to visit other bloggers who share their feelings and memories about this magical season.












Summer - a perfect time to be silly.

This shot was most likely taken by my mom, while my grandfather took my sister and I for a ride on the lawnmower after a family barbeque. In the 1960s we lived in Michigan. We had both sets of grandparents nearby, and a host of aunts and uncles. So there were lots of family dinners.

There was also a lot of silliness, which was fairly evenly spread by everyone, really. We're a silly bunch.

My dad creeping up on the tricycle was par for the course.

Almost Wordless Wednesday - 181

Remembering my dad on his birthday, December 29th

Summer Stock Sunday - 33

My vintage look at summer for Summer Stock Sunday, hosted by Robin at Around the Island.

Robin's second summertime photo meme has once again been a favorite highlight of my blogging year - thanks, Robin! To bring 2010's version to a close, here's a picture that epitomizes summer for me.


















This is my dad as a kid, playing cowboy in front of his parents' store in rural Quebec in the 1940's.

Though social role play can occur indoors or out, in every season, for some reason the 'let's pretend' play in which I took part as a kid is far more vivid to me when it happened outside. I played non-storytelling games like skip rope, hopscotch, red light/green light, and hide and seek, but I far preferred all the times when we enacted scenes from shows like Little House on the Prairie, I Dream of Jeannie, Get Smart or Six Million Dollar Man.

When I was at Ryerson directing my student films, I often heard the echoes of my childhood self setting up scenes with my friend, my cousin and my sister:

"I'll be Mary, you be Laura and you be Nellie. Now let's pretend Nellie has invited us over to her house and she's being mean to us."

And in a bit of foreshadowing, Dad's social play which gravitated towards being an imaginary gunslinger was the precursor to his sharpshooter status when he served with the US army in the 60's.

Summer Stock Sunday - 26

My vintage look at summer for Summer Stock Sunday, hosted by Robin at Around the Island.













Since much of North America has been suffering through a rather sizzling summer, here's a visual cool-down for those of you who would rather fry your eggs in a pan instead of on the sidewalk.

Here on Canada's east coast, summer can mean waking up to fog, drizzle and mist. That's why everyone here dresses by the layers code. Lightweight weatherproof jackets that won't turn cumbersome are perfect when the fog burns off and the sun comes blazing out.

Back in the day - the early 1970's - just before Gore-Tex became the clothing material of choice for Maritimers - denim was the go-to all-weather layer. Here my dad strikes his version of the Marlboro Man pose during a trip he took to Newfoundland with my uncle.

I love the low-lying fog out by the far shore in this shot, and the stunted trees hugging the land from the unrelenting wind coming in from the sea. Very likely this shot was taken by my Uncle Charlie.

Anne MacFarlane says Love those summer days that start off with fog rolling in from the water, then slowly the sun shines through! Like a nice big yellow surprise!

Gattina says In Belgium too we have to dress like an onion, like we say, and then you take the layers off or put them on depending if it gets warm or cold, lol!

Dianne says Fog, drizzle and mist sounds so good right now!! :)

Summer Stock Sunday - 23

My vintage look at summer for Summer Stock Sunday, hosted by Robin at Around the Island.

Right now, my mom is on a month-long vacation visiting her brothers in Michigan. A branch of my family ended up putting down firm roots there when both grandfathers moved their families from Canada to Michigan in the 1950's for work.

Part of my family stayed in Canada, and several members moved back over the years, including my grandfather when he retired. But we visit back and forth as often as we can.

I spent my first six years in Michigan and have maintained my friendship with Mary, the little neighbor who lived several doors down from me. We stood for each other when we both were married, and have been alongside each other for life's joys and life's sorrows. So Mary was thrilled to hear that she'd be getting together with my mom this month.

Today, they had a ball together, and have plans for more fun while Mom is still in hugging distance.

So for this week's look back at summer, here's a day when Mary came to the Detroit Zoo with my parents, my sister and me.













That's Mary on the left in the stripes, my dad, my sister and me chowing down on hot dogs. I remember this little picnic part of the day, because I volunteered to take the garbage to the garbage can. Once I got there and turned back to find everyone, I remember stopping to gaze at my family for a moment - always the observer, even then.


















And that's cool 60's Mom with Michelle, me and Mary.

Leap forward 40 years and there you'll find Mom and Mary, sharing the day once again, laughing, chatting, sharing, connecting. Timeless summer.

Naquillity says It's great when friends can get together again to reminisce. Love the old photos of everyone.

Robin says Wonderful memories and I love how your connection has stood the twin tests of time and distance.

Mimi says Lovely, nostalgic, happy, summer post. It's hard to beat a trip to a good zoo, back then and now.

Summer Stock Sunday - 21

A vintage look at summer for Summer Stock Sunday, hosted by Robin at Around the Island.














This photo was taken by my husband's Auntie Pat, who was a passionate photographer. Luckily for my husband's family, she took loads and loads of shots of the kids as they were growing up. She had her own dark room and a proper camera - but she was also known to use Kodak Instamatics.

Here she grabbed a shot as everyone headed towards an afternoon at the museum in Toronto. In the foreground, oldest boys Ken and Jeff lead the way. My father-in-law David chats with his aunt (I think it may be the same auntie who stood next to him and his mom in the 1930's Niagara Falls picture) as my husband Brad - the excited little guy - rushes to catch up. Obscured by David is my mother-in-law Joan, and probably my sister-in-law Karen, walking next to Grandma Smith.

I love the energy in this shot, the anticipation of heading towards something fun. And Auntie Pat's sense of composition and line turns this shot into something more than just a snapshot, as most of her photography did.

Robin says I love that she captured real moments, not just posed portraits. She must have been quite ahead of her time :)

Dianne says I'm pretty much the family photographer, I hope my photos are appreciated as much as you appreciate these :)

Louise says I can't even begin to tell you how fascinated I am with old snapshots. I get such a kick out of seeing how people dressed back then, how the cars looked, the ads, everything! This snapshot is so great!

5 on Friday - Set 19

A big Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there - and for this week's set, I've put together five songs that always make me think of my dad, the moment I hear them.

1 - Roadhouse Blues - The Doors

Dad used to sing the opening lines to this song when he drove. Or thought about driving. He was a car lover. Car mechanic. Car salesman. He loved cars.

Keep your eyes on the road
And your hands upon the wheel

Yeah, we're goin to the roadhouse
We're gonna have a real good time

Let it roll, baby, roll

- Densmore / Kreiger / Manzarek / Morrison



2 - Mystery Train - Elvis Presley

Dad was a big Elvis fan. And he was also a big fan of the Chet Atkins sound, so the early Sun Records combine that feeling for me.

Train, train
Comin' down, down the line
Train, train
Comin' down, down the line
Well it's bringin' my baby
Cause she's mine, all, all mine

- Parker / Phillips



3 - Birthday - The Beatles

He always called me on the phone when I lived in Toronto and sang this to me on my birthday.

They say it's your birthday
Well, it's my birthday too, yeah
They say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy Birthday to you

- Lennon / McCartney



4 - Our Love is Here to Stay - Billie Holiday

This was our father-daughter dance at my wedding. I'd prepared a recording of Cleo Laine's version, but my sister secretly switched it with an accapella one of herself singing, which she recorded with the help of my brother-in-law, Jeff.

CLICK HERE to listen to the song

It's very clear
Our love is here to stay
Not for a year
But ever and a day

The radio and the telephone
And the movies that we know
May just be passing fancies
And in time, may go

But oh, my dear
Our love is here to stay

Together we're going a long, long way
In time, the rockies may crumble
Gibraltar may tumble
They're only made of clay
But
Our love is here to stay

- George and Ira Gershwin


















5 - Go Down Gamblin - Blood, Sweat & Tears

Once upon a time, back when the Superbowl had marching bands for the half-time show, my dad turned the sound down on the TV and put on his Blood, Sweat & Tears album. The visuals of the marching band matched the blaring horns of Blood, Sweat & Tears so perfectly we were all in tears of laughter.

Besides which - the it-ain't-over-till-it's-over philosophy of this song pretty much sums up my dad.

Down in a crap game
I've been losin' at roulette
Cards are bound to break me
But I ain't busted yet

Cause I've been called a natural lover
By that lady over there
Honey, I'm just a natural gambler
But I try to do my share

Go down gamblin'
Say it when you're runnin' low
Go down gamblin'
You may never have to go

- Lipsius / Clayton-Thomas






For more fabulous musical sets, visit Travis at Trav's Thoughts.

Jamie says Oh those are all wonderful picks and very nice dedication to your dad.

Travis Cody says I had never heard Mystery Train. Thanks for bringing me some "new" Elvis.

Summer Stock Sunday - 17

Woo hoo!

It's time for the first Summer Stock Sunday of 2010. I'll let the originator of this blog meme, Robin, explain how it works:

"Each week, beginning RIGHT NOW, 9pm Saturday night Israel time, 2pm EST, we'll all be sharing our quintessential summertime photos. So what says summer to you? Is it the pool? The beach? A backyard barbecue? A comfy old pair of flip-flops? Whatever summertime looks like in your corner of the world this is the place to come share it - put up your post and then come add your link to Mr. Linky. Visiting other participants is encouraged, after all, sharing is what blogging is all about."

I have to admit I found myself starting to plan out my Summer Stock Sunday posts a few months ago, as soon as the weather began to shrug off the chill of winter. Of course, I had no idea whether or not Robin had decided to do this meme again, but it was a wonderful part of my summer last year and I'd really hoped she would.

And then she announced the date on her blog - Summer Stock Sunday would begin again on June 5th. Yay!

So here's my plan for 2010. I'm taking a trip back in time this year. Let's go!













This is a picture of my dad, Norman with his little sister Suzy, taken in the late 1940's in rural Quebec, Canada.

Seems crazy that he could have ridden such a big bike!

Naquillity says I've always enjoyed the photos of your family because you seem so close to them.

Robin says What really made me smile is the way your aunt seems to be sprouting right out of the plants there on the side - too cute! Great choice to kick off Summer Stock Julia, I'm so glad you're playing along again :).

Dianne says What a wonderful old photo. It's a sweet lovely scene.

Wordless Wednesday - 138

Ms Snarky Pants says Awwww look at your cute hockey playing Daddy! :-D

Nikita Banerjee says Nice pics!

Akelamalu says Great pictures of your Daddy Julia. :)

Thursday Thirteen - 141 - 13 Views of 2009 at A Piece of My Mind

Colleen at Loose Leaf Notes took a look back at her blog through 2009 last week - and I so enjoyed her post, I decided to borrow her format for my own blog this week.

Clicking on the month will take you to the entire post I've excerpted here.


1 - January 2009 - One of the things I'll be looking forward to is a new tradition I've begun with my two dads. Both of them passed away recently. When the first birthday for my dad rolled around on Dec. 29th, 2007 - the first without him - my husband and I were in Toronto. It's my intention to fill a day when my thoughts naturally turn to missing someone so very, very precious with something that brings me great joy. And so last Dec. 29th began My Date With My Dad - a glorious matinee watching my favorite ballet company with my Dad along with me, sharing my joy.


2 - February 2009 - Welcome to my Second Blogiversary Celebration! Come in. Find a seat. I've got a show planned that celebrates life as I love to live it. And I'm grateful to you, my blog readers and fellow bloggers, for sharing this life with me. First up is Gene Wilder singing Pure Imagination from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. My life just wouldn't be the same if it wasn't fueled by imagination.


3 - March 2009 - I got a good writing day in, which included some internet research on methods to treat cuts that my little laundry maid Helen would use in 1840's Van Diemen's Land. I settled upon tea, as it fit seamlessly with the preceding scene where three characters have a rather surreal tea party. And I realized all the information I just gathered would make a fabulous post for my Blog Improvement Project. Et voila! The Common Tea Bag and Its Uncommon Usefulness in First Aid.


4 - April 2009 - For my second interview here at A Piece of My Mind, I've got Thomma Lyn Grindstaff joining me from her home in East Tennessee in the United States. A big Down East welcome, Thomma Lyn from me here on Canada's east coast.

Question - Your novel Mirror Blue releases May 1st. Will you be doing anything special on that day?

Answer - I'd thought of having a Virtual Book Release party on that day, but my hubby and I are planning a celebratory hike on the mountain!




5 - May 2009 - I've got a busy weekend. Tonight, after an extremely challenging week at work, I had a dress rehearsal for tomorrow's choir concert. Tomorrow morning I'll be hopping on the bus and heading for Spring Garden Road, to have an afternoon at the ballet - La Bayadere. After the ballet, it's hurry-scurry home, get changed and drive my husband and me to my choir concert, where he'll watch from the audience.


6 - June 2009 - For Summer Stock Sunday, I've got my lovely peonies which I transported from their original home in Yarmouth, Nova Scotia when we moved to Cole Harbour eight years ago. As we packed up the house to move to Cole Harbour, I made one final walk-around to make sure we had everything. I looked at the garden to make my goodbye - and realized I hadn't dug up the peony plant. I grabbed a broken, jagged broom handle from the trash and started digging madly for the peony bulbs. I plunged my hands into the earth and felt around until I could grasp the tubers. I yanked as hard as I could until a few broke free and came to the surface. I threw them in a box with some dirt and we slipped them onto the back of the truck.


7 - July 2009 - If you're anything like me, the idea that 39 tall ships will sail into my home port of Halifax Harbour is enough to send you into paroxysms of joy. I have always been attracted to these majestic ladies of the sea for as long as I can remember. So when the first Tall Ships Festival arrived here 25 years ago in the summer of 1984, my sister and I went down to the transformed waterfront filled with awe, our necks cricked up to stare at the forest of masts, the elaborate rigging, to see the faces of sailors from all over the world and hear languages spoken we'd only heard in movies.

We didn't know that we were walking towards the most incredible summer of our lives - the Summer of My Sister's Russian Sailor.


8 - August 2009 - I've been a form of weather vane for several decades, a sort of Doppler radar as far as the weather was concerned. I've felt an oncoming low pressure system, even when it was a few days away. The really bad storms are just giant low pressure systems, and my degree of pain was unrelenting for up to 10 days at a time.

For some reason earlier this year, I began thinking to myself: I resign from my weather vane job. The Weather Network can do it.

I started acupuncture for my migraines in June. There's another big storm coming up along the eastern seaboard toward Nova Scotia this weekend. Tropical Storm Danny. I first heard about it on the news in the middle of the week. I stared at the TV screen in confusion. Whenever a storm system appears on the weather report, I'm already feeling it. But this was actual news to me.


9 - September 2009 - I'm currently reading Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer for the Dewey Reading Challenge. The writing is so exceptional that I could craft found poems from every single page in this 382-page book. Here is one little nugget.

Terribly Lucky

By her twelfth birthday
My great-great-great-great-great-grandmother
Had received at least one
Proposal of marriage
From every citizen in Trachimbrod

She forced a blush
Batted her long eyelashes
Said to each, Perhaps no
Yankel says I am still too young

They are so silly, turning back to Yankel


10 - October 2009 - A few weeks ago I didn't even know who Eugene Hutz was. But I'm reading Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer for a reading challenge, and even though I hadn't finished the book I asked my husband to bring home the DVD of the film adaptation from Blockbuster, where he works. Playing the Ukrainian translater for New York-Jewish Jonathan was Eugene Hutz, turning in a remarkable performance for a non-actor. Now I'm quite obsessed with him.

I started thinking about Eugene's charismatic hold over women. I believe it's his Unattainable Man persona. Who could be more unattainable than a part-Gypsy globetrotter whose undying passion is Music?


11 - November 2009 - Whistleblower diplomat 'Richard Colvin sent senior Canadian officials no fewer than 17 messages in 2006 and 2007 warning that Afghan interrogators used torture as 'standard operating procedure,' that Canadian troops were handing over 'a lot of innocent people,' and that could make them complicit in war crimes. He also copied more than 70 people.' (Toronto Star)

'I find it insulting to listen to the governing party in Canada trying to discredit someone who is standing up for the Canadian sense of human justice.' (Rod Sarty, letter to the editor, Chronicle Herald)


12 - December 2009 - 13 Things That Kept Me Going During NaNoWriMo:

Stewie Griffin ('Victory is mine!')
Gogol Bordello - Forces of Victory ('I can't go on/I will go on')
My fellow bloggers who also did NaNo
My fellow Romance Writers of Atlantic Canada sisters who also did NaNo





13 - Since we don't have thirteen months in the year - although, think of all the stuff we could cross off of our collective lists if we did - here's an extra post that's a favorite of mine from 2009:

13 Reasons Why It's So Much Fun To Go To The Writers' Retreat

Almost Wordless Wednesday - 132

Brooke says When my sister died we still had cake on her birthday in her memory..

Storyteller says What a wonderful photo!

Akelamalu says It's good to remember the happy times.