The Return of Duffman

For quite some time now, I've been aware that I'm never alone. Western society acknowledges guardian angels and I figure this presence is likely my guardian spirit. It speaks to me often through light symbols, but can get my attention in many creative ways.

A common 'conversation' goes as follows: I'll be walking my dog at night. Everything is gorgeous and I'm feeling connected to the world around me. I'll be deep in thought. Suddenly the streetlamp directly above me turns on. One second before it had been off, but I hadn't noticed. After a delighted smile lights my face, it turns off. Over time I've started to call this being Blinky.

During a visit to a psychic two years ago, she lit a candle for the session. It wasn't long before Blinky was with us. The candle flame lengthened, fluttered, split into two flames on one wick, waved back and forth and so on, which the psychic and I both watched, both knowing what was going on without having to mention it to the other. The flame always reacted to whatever subject matter was being discussed. By the end of the session, there was a thin shield of wax behind the flame, left over from having burnt down. She pointed it out and said it meant I had protection. That felt good, as I always feel safe in the presence of this spirit.

Fast forward to this past year, as my dad was diagnosed and treated for the cancer which recently ended his life. My husband special-ordered an alarm clock shaped like the interior of Moe's Tavern from "The Simpson's". At the bar sit Homer and Barney. Moe and Duffman stand in front of it. Each character says several lines, which act as the alarm. You can simply have fun and press the button on the bar to listen to each character speak. You can't control who speaks, however. To set the alarm for a particular character, you switch the figure's position on the clock. Duffman is currently in the alarm position. If the alarm goes off, he'll repeat his phrase until it's shut off. Once upon a time we had it set to Duffman saying, "I've got a bottomless mug of new Duff Extra Cold for Barney Gumble!" But that got a little much to bear at 6 am, so we turned off the alarm and now use the Batman alarm clock, which simply beeps with Justice League intensity.

However, it seems that Blinky was quite taken with the Simpson's alarm clock. While my husband often listened to all of my tales of encounters with Blinky, they usually happened when I was alone with Xena, our dog. One night the turned-off alarm clock burst forth with "Duffman!" That's one of the phrases available, but not the one we had been using. My husband and I had been quite down that evening, thinking about what was to come for my dad. All of a sudden, the happy outburst from the Duff beer spokesman. As soon as it started, I smiled, knowing right away that it was Blinky trying to lighten the mood, even though it had never used sound before. But my husband was taken by surprise, turned toward the clock and gave a yelp. My God, how we laughed! We still make fun of it now as a private joke.

After that first time, we've been "Duffman"-ed quite a lot. Never when we expect it, but always when we need a cheer up. Like last night, after my sister and I spent the evening with my step mom. She's very distraught, grieving my dad with every fibre. My sister found it hard to leave her in such pain. I had to use all of my counselling skills to help my step mom and later I tried to calm my sister's worries.

However, during the visit my step mom did tell us that the light in front of her door in the apartment corridor flickered for three days after Dad first passed away. And she wondered if we'd noticed how the candle next to Dad's urn upon the altar flickered, waved, fluttered and danced throughout the funeral mass, while five other candle flames also on the altar burned steady and still. My sister and I exchanged knowing glances.

When I got home, I had the lucky news that Gerry Butler was about to be on Jay Leno. I got my tape ready, my husband got home from his late shift at Blockbuster, and we watched Gerry till after 1 am.

I got into bed as it headed for 2 am. A long day, a longer night, a surprise joy at the end. I crossed myself and started to pray. At that very moment, in the dark that had just settled over the apartment, we heard "Duffman!"

I giggled, my husband laughed, I said "Hi!" and we settled into a contented sleep.