Monday, December 17, 2007

Poetry Train Monday - 30 - The Test

Since we're tucked into our house riding out a major snowstorm tonight, I felt like posting this older poem I wrote when I was still in high school.

The Test

Winter moon
White and clear
Snowy dune
Icy spear
Silver wisps
Line the sky
Patient stars
Wolfen cry

Haunting hush
Waiting wood
Powder crush
Soft wool hood
Anxious turns
Shuts the door
Stands outside
Full heart sore

Slanting square of white lamplight
Cuts the sameness of the night
Out before the rough hewn house
Vigil flame I pray to douse

Don't fret so
Tighten cloak
Loosen then
Twist and choke
Doubts arise
Hopes spin/fall
Lonesome claws
Poise to maul
Gaze pans night
Worried sighs
Dark beneath
Sharp cold skies

Flat gray fields stretching silent
Streams of ice floes ripped and violent
Clumsy fences trailing far
Clutching branches grasp and scar
All is still and all is screaming
Emptiness and fury teeming

He'll get through
I can feel
Snow beware
He's of steel
Gaze won't leave
Icy road
Sparkling shine
Eerie bode

Body shakes
Not from cold
Heart awakes
Life takes hold
Winter moon
Shines on two
Run embrace
Love is true

Poem Copyright 1980 Julia Smith


Susan Helene Gottfried said...

That is really cool, Julia. And perfect for this weather 'cause it's snowy and windy here, too. Man, is it windy.

I like how the lines with the higher syllable count up the tension. And the rhyming pattern...

Yeah, this one's a keeper.

Olga said...

You wrote this in high school??! wow.
I love the pic of the cabin in the snow, I have this fantasy of being snowed in on Christmas in a cabin.

Wylie Kinson said...

Awesome imagery. I can fully appreciate it looking outside my window into the whitest winter I've seen in a long time!

Akelamalu said...

Beautiful, I particularly love the last eight lines Julia. x

Karina said...

I'm always amazed at the quality of the stuff you wrote while in high school (never mind the stuff you write today). Very nice.

And as always, you chose images that completely vibe with the words.

(We got quite the snowstorm ourselves yesterday, so this is certainly fitting).

Jill said...

I really love the ending!!
It just making me feel like cozying up!!

Unknown said...

Reading this made me as cold as if I'd gone outside. Love it Julia. :)

Sparky Duck said...

quiet snow can be lovely and comforting. Snow with gale force winds just sucks

Red Garnier said...

I LOVE THIS Julia! So wintery and delicious! This part . . . oooh, I lurved:

Body shakes
Not from cold
Heart awakes
Life takes hold
Winter moon
Shines on two
Run embrace
Love is true

;) You were a very advanced high-shcool gal. I'm sure you got all A's. LOL.

gautami tripathy said...

I like this.

My next post somehow complements this. Come, have a look! Of course, it is for grown ups!

reading room

Anonymous said...

I love the imagery these lines evoke:

Don't fret so
Tighten cloak
Loosen then
Twist and choke

I can picture a woman buttoning up her coat and wrapping a scarf around her neck, only to nervously pull it all apart. Fabulous!

Rhian said...

Geez, i hang with some talented peeps. once again - fabulous Julia! wonderful photo accompaniment as well. (however you spell that - too tired to look it up. okay. lazy.)

poefusion said...

You are a talented writer, Julia. I enjoy coming over to read your blog from time to time because it has a homey feel to it. Keep up the good work. Have a nice night.