Monday, February 18, 2008

Poetry Train Monday - 37 - Gold That Burns

At the request of Susan, here is a bit of backstory for Guthrie Carmichael, the Scottish gamekeeper from my excerpt posted last week.

Gold That Burns

At my birth, my father bid his love goodbye
She slipped away, my sister clutching to her breast
Five boys - poor Jean a wee thing and all
No girls to wash and peel and mend
Five boys too young to work. Too young
To stop the men with fists who took him off

I pulled upon her hand yet on we trudged
She knew our father's cough would never heal
The damp, the rot, the gaol's stone walls
Took on the spectre of his hollowed gaze
My sister raised us all with his firm hand
With mother's gentle kiss, and so we thrived

While Jean seemed yet a girl, so slight, so worn
No suitor, only brothers grown and safe, in service all
Though it would hurt her to the quick to know
Her dearest Guthrie poached from the estate
Putting guineas by to sail from these cruel shores
Determined that I be the man my father dare not dream

Risking stone gaol and iron door with every snare
Am I seeking life and fortune with my plan?
Or do I run from father's dying grasp, gaining no ground
Seeing only Jean's trusting gaze each time I
Lift the false shelf to hide the gold that burns

Copyright - Julia Smith - 2008


Rhian said...

i love these story poems of your Julia.

Rhian said...

yours... "of yours"

Jennifer McKenzie said...

Fascinating!!!!! Really sets the mood.

Robin said...

*swoon* I've had a thing for Sean Bean since the early 90's, and he's just gotten better with age.

He suits your story beautifully Julia.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful narration. I loved this very much. Thanks!

ode for convoluted crevices

R.G. ALEXANDER said...

wow! Gorgeous!

Ann said...

Wonderful story poem. And of course, lovely picture. :)
P.S. I tagged you.

Unknown said...

OMG You're so damn good at that!

Akelamalu said...

You are so talented!!! I love it. x

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Well, I'm darn glad I asked for this! :D

LOVE it, Julia. You know this guy, all right. And now I do, too.

Jill said...

Once again you made me ask myself so much question!! I really like the poem, and you are not helping me on the fact I want to know more!

Anonymous said...

Ahh!!! Sean Bean!! He was one of the first on the ravished list!! Fab pic! An lovely poem, too, of course. ;)

Lisa Andel said...

Damn I wish I could do that. (the story poems thing).

M as in Mint said...

Story poem!! that's like double thrill - thank you for the enjoyable read!

Amy Ruttan said...

Squee Sean Bean!!!!

Tempest Knight said...

Ooooh... love the pic of Sean Bean. So HAWT!

Unknown said...

I love your writing, Julia.

Anonymous said...

Ooooh nice!


Anonymous said...

Wow, what a beautiful story poem -- it captivated me, and you gave us a wonderfully deep glimpse into Guthrie.

I love the whole thing, but this...

"...Determined that I be the man my father dare not dream..."

Yes, oh yes.

Karina said... much pain, so much guilt, so much hidden behind those eyes of his!