Friday, February 13, 2009

Naughty Meme of Firsts

Isabella Snow tagged me for this naughty meme, and I saved it for Friday the 13th, a wicked sort of day just before all the hearts and flowers tomorrow.

Isabella's blog is one of the blogs I have to save to read at home. It's definitely Not Safe For Work. But it is delightful and joyously risque. And very frank. Isabella is a woman who is very secure with her sexuality. It's a wonder to me that more women aren't. But the popularity of women's erotica gives me hope that more and more women are taking charge of their own sexual lives.

Rules to Isabella's Naughty Meme of Firsts:
1. Please post these at the beginning of your meme.
2. Please include a link to Sex Talk For Men.
3. Please include as many sordid details in your answers as possible - if you haven't got any, make them up!
4. Tag 3 people.

1. First French kiss?

That would be my first boyfriend, Philip. We had a long build-up to my very first kiss. I was 15 and he was the first person I was truly attracted to, more than a crush. We were part of a large group of music and drama nerds who all hung out together.

It took several months before I could believe that it was more than just me being attracted to him. He was attracted to me! So when The Kiss finally happened, it was more romantic and more super-charged with desire than a normal, awkward teenage kiss. I actually remember thinking, "So this is why they always say kisses taste sweet."

That happens to me a lot. Things happen to me, and a part of me 'records' it in my writer's sense-memory bank.

2. First boyfriend/girlfriend.

Philip again. He was a perfect first boyfriend. He was very, very charming. Of course completely cute, tall, light brown hair, gray/blue eyes, parents from the UK so he had a bit of residual accent, played saxophone and a little Irish tin whistle, and acted in plays and musicals. He came from a huge family whom I loved spending time with. He was extremely romantic, wrote me little poems, sang me songs, packed up picnic lunches and sailed me over to a little island on the lake he lived beside, took out the tin whistle and played music for me.

We were only 15 and 17, though, so the only time we had alone together was often out in the woods. Which just added to the romance. One of the most romantic, steamy kisses we ever had was at Conrad's Beach, when we went for a walk along the shore, leaving my family in the distance. When we were out of sight, he grabbed me and we kissed. For awhile. It was great.

I go back to those feelings I shared with Philip all the time when I'm writing romance. It was the first time I felt desire directed at me from a man. Okay, he was 17, but to me he was older and sophisticated. All those feelings - Does he know how I feel about him? Can it be true? Does he really love me? He does love me! - that all of my fictional characters go through, they were at their most intense with my first boyfriend.

3. First type.

My first type is still my preferred type now. Tall, dark hair, blue eyes, British ancestry. Creative, very dark sense of humor, genius, compassionate. That sort of guy.

Exactly like my husband Brad.

4. First time you had sex.

This may be hard to believe, but my husband is truly my one-and-only, in every way possible.

Even though I feel strongly that women should be free to have sex if they want to, without being labelled for it - when it came to myself, I couldn't separate sex from my feelings. Until I truly, truly felt like he was The One, I kept my romantic partners technically at arms' length.

5. First celebrity crush.

That would be Les McKeown from the Bay City Rollers.

He's born on Nov. 12th, and I'm on the 11th, which has been a common attraction for me ever since. I can't resist those Scorpios. Like Gerard Butler, born on the 13th.

Or my husband. He's a Scorpio, too.

6. First sexual fantasy.

See if you can guess...

7. First person you fell in love with.

That would be my second boyfriend, Patrick.

He was the first person to truly see the real me. We had a very intense, very intimate, very mature relationship for our age. We went out for almost two years. He was a bit of a musical prodigy, and still plays bass for a living. He also wrote poetry for me, had a truly sinister sense of humor that kept me in absolute stitches, went to foreign films with me, came from a large family whom I adored spending time with, matched my intellectual craving for more, and dared to push me creatively.

I treasure the time we had together.

8. First proper sex toy.

No toys for me.

9. First porn video.

When my husband and I lived in Toronto, and I was in film school at Ryerson, Brad worked two jobs, including overnight shifts at a 24-hour video store. One New Year's Eve, I stayed at the store with him all night, and because the customers basically disappeared after awhile, Brad and I replaced the regular playing-in-the-background current release with Tracy Takes Tokyo.

Photo by Steve Granitz

10. First sexy lingerie item/sexy briefs owned.

I can't say I'm much for those. I need industrial-strength girder engineering on top, and those are never really that exciting. It's like cats - I'm allergic to them, so I don't let myself get too attached to how cute cats are. I can never have one, so I don't go there. It's the same for sexy lingerie.

11. First time giving oral.

12. First time getting oral.

As each new Number Two says in The Prisoner, that would be telling.

13. First orgasm given by someone else.

"Questions are a burden to others; answers a prison for oneself.” - The Prisoner

14. First one night stand.

"I used to be Snow White, but I drifted." - Mae West

My first and only one night stand was with a Greek sailor named Vivkelion Siriannis. Don't really know if that's how you spell his name correctly. I met him when I was out with friends at a Halifax bar, watching a band. Several sailors were there, and you couldn't help glancing over at them. They were dark and swarthy, and Vivkelion was really, really handsome.

I was single at the time, and no reason to say no when he asked me to dance. It was one of those pinch-me-I'm-dreaming nights. My friends were more than happy (wink, wink) to head home themselves, as I had my mom's car.

I drove us out to the Dingle Park (Sir Sandford Fleming Park, but no one calls it that) and we walked under the trees by the water of the Northwest Arm, chatting, arms around each other like long-lost sweethearts. It was really bizarre. I felt so comfortable with him instantaneously. He spoke English perfectly, and in fact was the manager of a sea sponge factory, but was required to put in military duty.

Everything about that night was so magical. We kept giggling with the delight of it all. I wish everyone could have one night like that.

15. First dirty book/dirty mag read.

I'd say my first real look at naughty pictures was in a T-shirt transfer store in the 1970's, when I was in elementary school. There were files to flip through until you found the transfer you wanted to purchase. Somehow I saw 'Ski bums', which consisted of ski bunnies skiing downhill without any pants. I found that strange, to say the least.

Moving on to an actual book: The Memoirs of John Milton Roderick was a favorite of mine. Here's the lo-down:

Torn from the sensual exoticism of Canton where his first initiation in the arts of love was at the hands of his French governess, young John Milton Roderick was sent to England to face the horrors and perversions of the Victorian public school. But it was not long before he was lured by the oriental delights of Madame Sin Sin's voluptuous Limehouse Brothel: and his troubles began. -

I actually adapted the governess part as a student film in third year. I can't resist a little heartbreak along with sexual desire. In 1880's Canton, John has a huge crush on his governess, and now that he's a young teenager, he can't help spying on her as she's bathing. She realizes he's watching, comes at him in a fury and plans to hand him over to his father for caning. He begs her not to.

She reconsiders, inviting him into her room. She says if he saw her naked, she may as well see him naked. She fetches a cane to do the deed herself. But she can't go through with it. The following day they try to get through lessons in the classroom but it all goes wrong. John runs crying from the room, but she follows. They have a huge heart-to-heart, and John sneaks in a very romantic kiss at the end. It's great! My film version differs slightly from the book - I needed it to work as a stand-alone short film, so I resolved several plot threads.

As for tagging anyone - play if you dare.

Happy Valentine's Day!


Isabella Snow said...

Thanks for doing my meme! It's certainly the tamest version I've seen, but also the sweetest! And clearly, you have good taste in men!

Travis said...

I think it's rare for a true romantic to find romance and love like you have. I got lucky like that too.

SandyCarlson said...

That was a fun, personal read. Kind of makes me realize we all have a lot in common!

Sexy is as sexy does; it's as simple as that with the right person.

Bobbi said...

Great meme, Julia! I love your "tame" version - mine would be very similar to yours, only with name changes!!