Sunday, February 1, 2009

Poetry Train Monday - 86 - The Undiscovered Scream

This is another found poem, taken from one of my works in progress. It's a scene from my gardener story, which you can check out in my Fiction Excerpt Archives. You'll find it in the 2007 entries.

I tightened the language of the scene for the poem. Otherwise it reads as it does in the story.

The Undiscovered Scream

Helen stood before the gaol
Barred wagon trundled
Towards her

Three more prisoners
Waiting to

How she had longed
To be taken
Last summer

The days since then had
Crawled on famished hands
Exhausted knees

Horses' hooves clapped
On cobblestones
It seemed she

Stepped outside herself
Watching as she moved
Through the hours

Fatigue helped
To blur the moments.
The women beside her

Held hands
The man jumped down
Opened the latch

But Helen felt.
Tendril of fear creeping

How certain she'd been
No more feelings
Left at all

She looked down
Worn fabric
Draft curled around

Her ankles. One woman cried.
The other kept patting her.
Near the harbour

Sea birds cried
Reality entered the
Box like a fourth

Waterfront hurly burly
Men called orders

Cargo nets hoisted.
Jagged masts
Sky clutter

Draped with shrouds
Monstrous webs
Of rope

Helen shivered on the
Wharf, the rough men
On deck stared back

The numbness was gone.
An undiscovered scream
That no one seemed to hear

- Julia Smith, 2009

Don't forget to ride the Poetry Train!

My February Sidebar Art Gallery showcases the work of William-Adolphe Bouguereau, Alfred Eisenstaedt, Francesco Hayez, Indian batik art, Pablo Picasso, Ford Madox Brown, Sir Edward Burne-Jones, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec and Gustav Klimt.


Danny Wise said...

Hi, nicely done and a good way to promote your WIP too! It's nearly 2.30 am here so I'll have to come back later on for a better look at your amazing bloggage!

I love your sidebar pics and the lovers/kiss theme. My local pub is called The Ford Maddox Browne!


Julia Phillips Smith said...

Very cool about your pub, Sweet Talking Guy!

Ire said...


Its a nice poem. Very vivid.

anthonynorth said...

A poem that really told a story. Excellently done.

floreta said...

i like your found poem series a lot! i can really see the scene hear. good job panting the picture.

Jill said...

I'm stressing for her!
I don't recall this story, is it before I found your blog?

Ana said...

I like how it builds the tension ...

Akelamalu said...

Excellent Julia! I love it. :)

Julia Phillips Smith said...

Jill - she's from my gardener story. You can read the excerpts in my Fiction Excerpt Archives, which you'll find in my sidebar under my picture.

Tumblewords: said...

Yes, indeed, it rings with tension. Love it...

Unknown said...

Nice, Julia!

"Fatigue helped
To blur the moments"

This line really spoke to me!

It's nice to be back in the land of bloggers. I was caught in the middle of the ice storm last week and went for 6 days without electric or Internet! I think I almost missed the Internet more than the heat!

Julia Phillips Smith said...

Holy Calamity, Bobbi! Glad you survived!

Travis Cody said...

I enjoy turning prose into poetry. You did a good job on this one.

Anonymous said...

Hi Julia,

I guess you now know that your literature has a poetic rhythm.

I particularly liked:

The days since then had
Crawled on famished hands...

Fatigue helped
To blur the moments.

Toni said...

This stirred lots of imagery for me, Julia. Very intense. Loved it.

Anonymous said...

This narrative prose poem does seem like a snippet from a longer story. I'll need to return to read your other work.
BTW, I like the variety of artists you feature in your sidebar.

a non famous artist who write,

Sherri B. said...

The tension most definitely builds...I loved the imagery in this poem. Thank you for sharing!

gautami tripathy said...

Beautiful narration. The terror,the sadness comes across strongly.

dancing verses

Linda Jacobs said...

A very tight story told in verse! Excellent!

Anonymous said...

I love reading your found poems...such a wonderful idea!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

So she's one of the prisoners? Where are they headed? Will she survive?

I have a lot of questions now...

Julia Phillips Smith said...

Susan - she is one of the prisoners. Luckily I'm back to working on this story these days. It's dueling with my Scorpius story at the moment.